I'm trying to wrap my head around the loss of my little baby Bear goat. It happened so suddenly, within hours he was so listless and then he was gone. He was born on January 29, 2012 with a twin Percy. Percy didn't make it 24 hours. I thought Bear was going to be okay. He was playful and loving, and then just in a matter of hours he was gone.
I had become so close to him, and the decision was to keep him and sell the others due to finances. It has become so difficult to feed all of them, with the price of hay skyrocketing. So, it was decided, I could keep little Bear and the rest would go. Then the day before they were all to be picked up by their new owner, Bear woke up and didn't seem right. He just wanted to lay in my arms and sleep. His body temp started to drop, so I wrapped him into a blanket and a electric hot pad, I kept giving him fluids, but as time went on, it was harder and harder to get him to drink them.
Then his breathing started getting more and more shallow, we tried oxygen, while it kept him going for a while longer, we finally decided that there was nothing to do and he passed over in my arms. Tears streamed down my face for the loss of this little one.
Some people may think it strange to grieve so hard for an animal, but I was in essence his mom, since his mama goat had rejected him....for unknown reasons, she was too young, her first babies...who knows. All I know is that all of a sudden I was thrust into the position of being a mama to 4 baby goats.
First, it was Percy within 24 hours...while I was sad the pain wasn't as great, as I grew up on a farm and understand these things happen. But with Bear it was much harder, I had spent days and weeks taking care of him and his cousins. And after making the decision to get rid of the other goats, then to loose him so suddenly threw me. I felt what did I do wrong...and the sadness surrounded me. It felt like I lost my child.
I was felt the loss of what his life would have been...playing with him through the summer, and having him follow me around the property. It was all gone. He was taken just like that...
My husband started talking to me about how lucky that little guy was, that the quality of his life was greater than any goat out there...he had more love in his short little life than many have in a full life.
We then started discussing how so many of us think that quantity is better than quality. It started a discussion with us. My husband and I found each other later in life. Past the time of having children with each other. He tells me all the time, he wishes we could have had babies together...maybe in the next life we will. But he wouldn't change anything about where we are in this life. We have loved a lifetime in the short 3 years we have been together.
I am starting to realize that in the short time little baby Bear was here, he brought so much joy and love...and I am so thankful to the Lady for the quality of time I had with him.
Peace and love,
Barbara
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
I truly feel this day is not just about love between partners, but any love you have for anyone...I have a life partner...but I also love my family, friends, and my animals.
Here is a great video for my baby goats...I love them very much.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Memories of my childhood and religion...
GOOD MORNING! It is Monday...Since I don't have a 9-5 job, the days are all the same...lol So for me Monday is not a big deal. Taking care of my husbands father who has Alzheimers, dogs and the baby goats. Everybody has been fed. Now it is time to clean the kitchen. Have to do this a lot...since we have baby gats in the kitchen...we actually have the cleanest floors in town, since I have to mop them several times a day...lol But that is all part of it.
I've been thinking of what I want to post in this blog. And started thinking not only can I post about what is going on with me...but I thought I could also post some magickal things. Yes, I am a practicing Witch. I use the term Witch as reclaiming something that used to be a positive term. I would say my path is more eclectic than anything. I have taken everything I have learned throughout my life and and used all the good things I have found, and have let go of the things that I felt were contradictory, didn't make any sense in the grand scheme of things and created my own spirituality. Personally I think this is the more healthy way to view 'religion'. Instead of being a specific religion, I think the healthy and more productive way is to be 'SPIRITUAL'.
I was raised in many different religions. Depending on the day of the week and what my parents wanted to do, was what religion we were. In my very early years we were Baptist. There were many periods of time that we were nothing. I think the one I remember the most was when I was about 11 or so, we joined a Pentecostal Church.
At the time I thought it was great...there were no big sermons for me to memorize and tell my father later what they were. It was mostly music, and watching people dance around...and sometimes little old blue haired ladies would throw their canes down and jump up and down talking funny. At the tender age I was, I thought this was great. So I decided I would try it.
So, one day, I thought this is fun I will join in. I starting jumping up and down, waving my hands and talking funny like everyone else was...they thought I was great. Then they started telling everyone what they thought I was saying. I stopped, and said...THAT IS WRONG...I am not saying that...I'm just dancing and talking funny like everyone else.
Needless to say, my father was not very happy about this. He chose to not 'spar the rod', and took his belt off and beat me senseless in front of everyone for disrespecting them. We never returned...I felt it was my fault and all I was doing was having fun and joining in. Years later I would realize, that I was ahead of my own time in calling them on their lies and deceit.
After my parents got over their embarrassment of what I had done, they decided we would go back to the Baptist Church, it was more strict, and gave me less chances to embarrass them. I have to state here, that these are the feelings I as a child had, whether that is exactly how my parents felt...I have no idea. We never discussed it.
I will leave this post at this...before it gets too long and boring to read...
Brightest Blessings and Warmest Regards,
Barbara
I've been thinking of what I want to post in this blog. And started thinking not only can I post about what is going on with me...but I thought I could also post some magickal things. Yes, I am a practicing Witch. I use the term Witch as reclaiming something that used to be a positive term. I would say my path is more eclectic than anything. I have taken everything I have learned throughout my life and and used all the good things I have found, and have let go of the things that I felt were contradictory, didn't make any sense in the grand scheme of things and created my own spirituality. Personally I think this is the more healthy way to view 'religion'. Instead of being a specific religion, I think the healthy and more productive way is to be 'SPIRITUAL'.
I was raised in many different religions. Depending on the day of the week and what my parents wanted to do, was what religion we were. In my very early years we were Baptist. There were many periods of time that we were nothing. I think the one I remember the most was when I was about 11 or so, we joined a Pentecostal Church.
At the time I thought it was great...there were no big sermons for me to memorize and tell my father later what they were. It was mostly music, and watching people dance around...and sometimes little old blue haired ladies would throw their canes down and jump up and down talking funny. At the tender age I was, I thought this was great. So I decided I would try it.
So, one day, I thought this is fun I will join in. I starting jumping up and down, waving my hands and talking funny like everyone else was...they thought I was great. Then they started telling everyone what they thought I was saying. I stopped, and said...THAT IS WRONG...I am not saying that...I'm just dancing and talking funny like everyone else.
Needless to say, my father was not very happy about this. He chose to not 'spar the rod', and took his belt off and beat me senseless in front of everyone for disrespecting them. We never returned...I felt it was my fault and all I was doing was having fun and joining in. Years later I would realize, that I was ahead of my own time in calling them on their lies and deceit.
After my parents got over their embarrassment of what I had done, they decided we would go back to the Baptist Church, it was more strict, and gave me less chances to embarrass them. I have to state here, that these are the feelings I as a child had, whether that is exactly how my parents felt...I have no idea. We never discussed it.
I will leave this post at this...before it gets too long and boring to read...
Brightest Blessings and Warmest Regards,
Barbara
Sunday, February 12, 2012
goats running a muck a muck
Well...I'm just sitting here in the kitchen, letting the baby goats run a muck...lol have to supervise them now, as they have gotten very curious and are into everything. Kind of like have 3 2 year olds...lol They are fun and adorable, and yes, I realize not many people would have goats running a muck in their kitchen...but I love animals...and we do live on a ranch. lol
The band is busy gearing up for our 3 day show at GalaxyFest in Colorado Springs on February 24-26. This show be a lot of fun. I'm still trying to get over a cold, which for a singer is not fun. It is still cold up here in the mountains, but I did hear some birds singing today...gave me hope for Spring. I am so sick of snow! LOL Although by the picture you can see it is pretty...just as long as you stay inside.
Well baby goats are calling for me, and I think they have ran around enough so I can go to bed now.
Huggles,
Barbara
Well baby goats are calling for me, and I think they have ran around enough so I can go to bed now.
Huggles,
Barbara
Greetings and Welcome to 'A Day In My Life...
My husband suggested I start this, not sure of the reason, but who knows someone may be interested. I'm not sure my life is that exciting to others, however, it IS exciting to me...lol
I live 10 miles above Black Hawk, Colorado, in the mountains. We have 7 acres of the most beautiful land on the face of the earth, at least in my opinion. We have our own private lake that we catch fish out of in the summer (have pulled) 17" trout.
We have goats, dogs and a cat. We 9 goats, 3 of which are babies...unfortunetly the mothers rejected them, so I have become mom to three baby goats. 2 boys and 1 girl. Thor, Bear and Sif. The other goats are Spike (who is the daddy to the 3 new babies), Darla (who had a baby in July 2011 Puck) Skins, Winifred 'Fred' and Honey (who are the two who just had the babies) Each of them had twins. Fred had Thor and Sif and Honey had Bear and Percy. Sadly Percy only lived for 24 hours. He was very small and just wasn't strong enough to make it. He was also the loudest one...go figure.
I'm also the lead singer in a band called HEARTBEAT. We have a world sound and write and perform our own music. This was a project that started about 3 years ago. We got together to do one song four our then 15 year old drummer Brandon for his drum recital. A family member video taped it and put up on YouTube for family and friends. From that we got 4 gigs...and we only had ONE freaking song. We discussed it and decided we didn't want to do other peoples music...so we decided to write our own. NONE of us had ever done this before....so the journey began!
I am the mother of 2 grown children. Dwight and Tana Marie. My son lives in Minnesota with his wife Eliza and their daughters Ashlee and Silver. My daughter lives in Colorado and is engaged to be married in April of this year. She will become not only a wife, but an instant step-mom to a delightful 6 year old boy.
I am in a poly relationship with two of the most wonderful people on the planet, Greg and Patricia. They have opened their arms and lives to me, and we have so far had 3 of the most happiest years of my life. Did I every think I would be in a poly relationship. NOT! But you know what...it is the most healthy relationship I have every been in.
I will leave this first post as this, there is much more to say...but why do it all in the first day. I look forward to sharing experiences, joys, disappointments, and memories with you. Welcome to my life!
Brightest Blessings and Warmest Regards,
Barbara L. Doyle
My husband suggested I start this, not sure of the reason, but who knows someone may be interested. I'm not sure my life is that exciting to others, however, it IS exciting to me...lol
I live 10 miles above Black Hawk, Colorado, in the mountains. We have 7 acres of the most beautiful land on the face of the earth, at least in my opinion. We have our own private lake that we catch fish out of in the summer (have pulled) 17" trout.
We have goats, dogs and a cat. We 9 goats, 3 of which are babies...unfortunetly the mothers rejected them, so I have become mom to three baby goats. 2 boys and 1 girl. Thor, Bear and Sif. The other goats are Spike (who is the daddy to the 3 new babies), Darla (who had a baby in July 2011 Puck) Skins, Winifred 'Fred' and Honey (who are the two who just had the babies) Each of them had twins. Fred had Thor and Sif and Honey had Bear and Percy. Sadly Percy only lived for 24 hours. He was very small and just wasn't strong enough to make it. He was also the loudest one...go figure.
I'm also the lead singer in a band called HEARTBEAT. We have a world sound and write and perform our own music. This was a project that started about 3 years ago. We got together to do one song four our then 15 year old drummer Brandon for his drum recital. A family member video taped it and put up on YouTube for family and friends. From that we got 4 gigs...and we only had ONE freaking song. We discussed it and decided we didn't want to do other peoples music...so we decided to write our own. NONE of us had ever done this before....so the journey began!
I am the mother of 2 grown children. Dwight and Tana Marie. My son lives in Minnesota with his wife Eliza and their daughters Ashlee and Silver. My daughter lives in Colorado and is engaged to be married in April of this year. She will become not only a wife, but an instant step-mom to a delightful 6 year old boy.
I am in a poly relationship with two of the most wonderful people on the planet, Greg and Patricia. They have opened their arms and lives to me, and we have so far had 3 of the most happiest years of my life. Did I every think I would be in a poly relationship. NOT! But you know what...it is the most healthy relationship I have every been in.
I will leave this first post as this, there is much more to say...but why do it all in the first day. I look forward to sharing experiences, joys, disappointments, and memories with you. Welcome to my life!
Brightest Blessings and Warmest Regards,
Barbara L. Doyle
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